Monday, 20 December 2010

My blog is being made more public thanks to a cross-dressing site.

I was browsing the Internet when I suddenly found my blog in a cross dressers website!

At first I was a bit horrified, do I look like a man? In certain photos, I guess I do! I’m female! Honest, I know, I have given birth after all!

However my horror did not last long as I began to think about it a bit more. After all, I have made use of the term “coming out of the closet” which in some cultures states that you are reviling your secrets and mostly in the UK states you are opening up about your homosexuality, which at this point I would like to point out that not all cross dressers are homosexual.

Putting my self in another set of shoes I thought, there is not a lot of difference between me and a cross dresser. There’s this obsession, that’s not quite the norm, which you find hard to talk about hard, and hard to find people with similar interests and always at the back of your mind what everyone else thinks.

It must take some courage trying to tell your family that as their son you like noting better than getting a nice dress on, stiletto heels and hitting the town armed with a handbag and lipstick.

If I’m honest, where my family are concerned I am well and truly still in the closet when it comes to coming out with my saree obsession. My dad sort of knows about the fact I like sarees, and I think he likes it because India had a huge influence on the Beatles, my dad is Beatles mad, and of course, I think my dad is a closet hippy. My mum draws a blank on the subject, when I told her I wanted to wear a saree to my brothers wedding resulted in the finger waving and “If you ever….” (Words of disownment followed as it does overtime I do something that mother does not approve of)

When you do not have the support behind you from your own mother, I feel that you are made to feel slightly outcast from what you feel is, and should be a part of you. I have the disapproval of my mother sat on my shoulder like a little red daemon, the sort you used to see in the old cartoons nagging at me saying that I shouldn’t be wrapping that saree, I should be wearing things that are more ordinary. (Apparently)

So I call my self a cultural cross dresser, who favours the Asian fashion, sarees in particular. When I do venture out in a saree I get a lot of complements, I just wish my mum could hear them I’m sure she will suddenly find herself proud of her tom boy daughter all of a sudden and encourage the wearing. The odd thing is, if my mum was out and about and happened across a man in a dress, she would be singing his praises and be full of complements, of course, if he looked good!

As said before I have the support of my readers, those on twitter and those that complement me when I’m out and about in the saree so thank you.

I wrote on their blog

“Hello, Thank you for supporting my blog! I’m having a lot of fun writing it. I am a self confessed cultural cross dresser and sort of nearly almost just slightly in some ways face the same issues some of your more shy members may suffer with whilst expressing their individuality. Keep up the good work”


  1. You have my full support Shwetika. I dont understad what is wrong in westerners adoptng Asian fashion? Asians also wear western dresses . One day ur mom /will accept you as you are.Trust me.

  2. Ela, I wish I could give you a big hug. Thank you. Lets hope that my mum will not tell me what to wear on my wedding day!

  3. I love the expression "cultural cross dresser"!

    And to your mother, normal to whom? These moms who want us to dress "normal" have their own narrow definition of what's normal. Saris are normal dress for many, many women in the world, and why shouldn't you be one of them? ;)

  4. interesing :) I just used the settings to see where my readers come from on the www... alas, nothing interesting, people who know my blog and googling the title instead of saving it in their links ;)
    I know what you mean about the approval of your mother though, I have that same relationship with mine incase you havent guessed.. if not from my blog definitely from the most recent FB status ;)
    love ya xxx

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  6. No, you do NOT look like a man! There is a guy on YouTube who has several very good vids on how to put on a saree. He knows how to tie different styles, too--not just Nivi and Gujarati. I think he's British, but I could be wrong.

  7. Ya know, I always think saree in general is beautiful material and should be worn as it is or altered. In anycase, I am amazed you can put on a saree whereas I can't even if I try.

  8. When I reached the age of 50 I decided that there is no logical or rational reason that non-Indian women "should not" wear saris. I've loved them since I was knee-high to a grasshopper, so it's not a passing fad.

    I am fortunate in that my mother does not disapprove of my sari habit - in fact she does a bit of cultural cross-dressing herself.

    Draping a sari takes practice. Achieving a synergy between wearer, sari, drape, blouse, accessories and makeup is a real art. (I don't claim to have mastered the art fully yest!)

    I hope your mother learns to accept that saris are important to you. (I don't suppose that she'd let you drape her in one, if she did she might understand better both the charm of the garment and also that there is nothing illegal or immoral or "wrong" about a sari.)